"I remember, back in the great war, when chicken stood by cow, and cow stood by chicken. Those were the days of real farm animals, fighting for what they believed in, for their right to go free range and have the best quality hay. The farm was a lot different back then, and I was proud to be a part of it all. My name is Captain Chicken McCluck, and this is the Cattlefield..."

So says the voice over to the intro of Cattlefield 1942, the game of barnyard battles. Short computer generated sequences of farm animals fighting it out, artificially made to look like old film footage, grainy and greyscaled, with stray hairs getting stuck in the projector, are played on screen. Cows toss grenades, chickens with sniper rifles take aim, and you just know that this is going to be something special.

Welcome to the Cattlefield!

The Hen Night From Hell

Cattlefield 1942 is a turn based war combat simulator, styled around the Second World War period, with the main difference being that the soldiers are all animals. The fight isn't over the greater part of the world's landmasses, but over control of the farmyard. Oh, sure, Farmer Giles may have thought his animals were all normal, quiet, gentle types, but unbeknownst to him, tensions have been rising, and when the farmer goes on holiday for a week, the situation explodes in a rather dramatic fashion.

This rather weak plot line is the lead into what actually turns out to be a rather entertaining turn-based strategy game. The atmosphere throughout is intended to be of a mock-grit nature, so while it appears to be taking itself rather seriously, it also conveys a good deal of humour, which will have you laughing out loud on more than one occasion.

There are three main factions in the game, consisting of various breeds of common farmyard animal. There is the Bovine-Poultry Alliance, with the chickens and cows fighting side by side, the Horse Porker Protectorate, consisting of horses and pigs, and the Duck Ewenion, in which the sheep team up with the denizens of the duck pond. At the beginning of the game, the choice of playing of any of the three teams is offered, and a different single player campaign sits behind each one, charting each of the sides' courses to victory.

A Quiet Day On The Farm?

Upon selecting an allegiance, the game presents a short animated intro movie, introducing the chosen farmyard army. The quality of the movies is good throughout, although nothing spectacular, and one is played between each mission to carry the story along and give the justification for the next fight.

As soon as the mission is over, the game engine proper loads up, and a fly over of the current level is displayed, allowing a quick reconnaissance of the area, along with all the friendly units, and any known enemy ones. The graphics are quite good, all displayed in rotating, isometric 3D, and the characters are well detailed.

Interestingly, the game developers have chosen not to make their characters anthropomorphic (read: two legged, human-like) versions of the actual farmyard animals, but instead we are treated to cows with shoulder mounted rocket launchers and the like, although, sometimes the animals are allowed to use wings as hands, and occasionally jump from four legs to two to perform certain actions.

Load Up With Horseshoes!

Once the fly over of the level is completed, the game presents a screen allowing each soldier on the battlefield to be outfitted with various forms of equipment. Soldiers carry through from mission to mission, gaining ranks in the process, and while there are a maximum number of participants for each battle, the game always ensures that enough basic soldiers arrive as reinforcements to ensure that no player is ever left having to take on a mission with an impossibly low number of troops.

The equipment available for each mission is one of the draws of the game, in that it is so colourful and inventive. Each mission introduces a new type of toy for each side, so there is always something new to play with. This is one way in which the game tries to keep things fresh and exciting throughout all the missions. My personal favourites were the horse-mounted horseshoe launcher, and the whole range of equipment available for the ninja-like ducks, archrivals of the chickens. Of course, the sniper-rifle (loaded with super-accurate semi-homing wasps) toting chickens will always be a favourite as well.

The weapons each character can use is determined by their breed, as some weapons are too big to be handled by smaller animals, and some too delicate to be handled by bigger ones, plus there are some breed-specific weapons, such as the aforementioned horseshoe launcher; where would a non-horse get the ammunition from? Each soldier also has a weight limit for ammunition and such, but the game largely tries to keep proceedings as statistic-free as possible, which is a key factor in keeping the game rolling along nicely. In case of a lick of patience, there is also an auto-load feature that loads out all the soldiers with useful kit for the coming mission, and jumps straight into the main game.

Making Bacon - Rocket Launcher Style

The valiant barnyard heroes usually start in positions at either side of the map. Should the mission be some sort of assault-type, one side will usually be in fortified positions. For instance, one early mission on the side of the Bovine-Poultry alliance has an opposing side trying to invade the chicken coups. In that scenario, all the friendly soldiers being in positions around the coups, with some manning (or should that me chickening?) fixed egg cannons along the perimeter.

Turns are played out, with each team moving all their soldiers in one turn, before the opposing side do the same. The order in which the sides take their turns is generally determined by the situation. In the above scenario, the chickens move second, as the invaders are said to have made the first move into opposing territory. No initiative scores and dice rolling here. Again, statistics are kept to a bare minimum.

The first turn or two in a typical battle will consist of each side manoeuvring their troops into good positions, without much firing going on. There are some missions that base themselves around a surprise attack situation, or an ambush, so the action starts straight away. And it's when the action starts that the fur really begins to fly.

Although each round of weapons fire is taken in turn, with one weapon firing at any given time, there is still a good sense of action and tension conveyed during the battle sequences. Characters are well animated, and the weapon effects are both graphically powerful and, for the most part, quite humorous. When the ninja ducks hurl their throwing leeches, fresh from the pond, on to an unsuspecting foe, slowly draining their life points away, it's hard not to have a chuckle. And the ducks look great with ninja headbands.

Each soldier has a limited number of health points, which are depleted by each injury them take. Eventually, some of them will reach zero health, and there are some rather unusual death animations that attempt take away the stress of seeing your favourite Captain go down in a blaze of glory. Suffice to say, seeing a cow explode in a bright white spray of milk is something you can't really describe to full effect with mere words. It's truly weird, and underlines some of the genres Japanese leanings, although this game wasn't developed there at all.

Bad to the Barn

After all the soldiers on one side of the battle are sent to the great barnyard in the sky, a victory tune plays for the victors, which differs depending on the side that wins. The game then drops to a scoring screen, where experience for each survivor is calculated, and promotions are handed out. This is about as statistic laden as the game ever tends to get, and it is all done using a fairly straightforward series of icons and numbers written on a blackboard.

After the spoils of war have been divided up, the game loops back to the next story movie, and the next mission begins. It sounds like a simple arrangement, and it is, but that same simplicity and the sheer colour and obvious imagination that has gone into its creation lifts it above its peers in the genre, which has become more crowded in recent years.

Additional to the single player game is a multiplayer game, which can be played as either a network-based, internet-based, or hot seat game. With the ability to play an out and out fight, or go back to any previously completed mission and replay it with both teams being human-controlled, this really adds on a good chunk of longevity game. And that's before I even mention that there's a fully functional mission and map editor for both single and multiplayer games thrown in as well! Wow!

This is a great little game that combines simplicity with ingenuity, and comes out with something really special. What's more, there are rumours that DA will be bringing this one out at a budget price from the very start to undercut the competition in the genre, and if that turns out to be true, then this is a real must buy! See you back at the barn, Private!

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