Oh dear, what can the matter be
Reading my e-mail makes me a mad hatter, gee
All of this junkmail makes my bandwith fatter, see
What's in my inbox today?

I've got herbal viagra for hard-ons superior
Look at my webcam to see my posterior
Help us transfer all this cash from Nigeria
All in my inbox today

Save lots of money just print your own postage stamps
Earn up to one thousand pounds just by sending spam
Then lose a hundred or more on our weight loss plan
All in my inbox today

I've got hundreds of offers to get cable TV free
Or join a book club to purchase cheap DVDs
Bill Gates is sharing his fortune with you and me!
All in my inbox today

More often than not I will find some pornography
Sadly there's nothing that rhymes with pornography
Luckily I get three times the pornography
All in my inbox today

There are 'Remember me's, "I love yous" and "forget me nots"
All from apparently close friends that I forgot
Blaster worms, viruses, trojans and God knows what
All in my inbox today

It's not just anonymous spam that drives me berzerk
What about circulars from all my friends at work
Dreams will come true if I forward this like a jerk
Fresh from my inbox today

There's too much to delete so there's only one remedy
E-mail itself has become my worst enemy
Unplug my modem for good then I'll never see
What's in my inbox today!

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