There's a tale around these parts, a legend, yes indeed
'Bout a boy who came to save this land in times of dire need
The wording varies quite a lot and the details inbetween
But oddly all of them agree he wore a cloak of green.

(( And a stupid hat. ))

Well most books say he had a horse, though one suggests a boat
And he began a fisherman or maybe herded goats
And one more thing the legends share, a sidekick brave and true
Who came to him from god knows where and told him what to do.

He followed her instructions to the letter all because
He knew that she was smart, but just not who or what she was.

At her command he rode or sailed to a dungeon far away
He fought into its sanctum, then the beast within he slayed
When the beast lay dead and turned to dust one single piece remained
He questioned it significance, and his dear friend explained.

(( Because she knew about these things. ))

She said, hey listen, hard and good, that fragment that you hold
Is full of demons, magic, ghosts, and nastiness of old
If the parts are recombined an artefact they'll forge
And the powers of the darkest gods will reign again once more.

If one soul were to wield such force, no telling what they'd do
So just to be on the safe side, I'll hang on to it for you!

(( Hand it over. ))

He went off to ruined shrines and temples, right from east to west
and north to south through earth, air, fire, water, and the rest
In each one there were traps to solve and giant beasts to slay
With an ever increasing arsenal he picked up on the way.

(( But she made him carry all that himself. ))

Well, back and forth they travelled round and found all of the shards
And just as he was told he gave them all for her to guard
And one by one she kept them safe, until she had the lot
Then hero boy he asked her - have we saved the world or what?

And with a smile she laughed at him, you foolish little elf
With this intact and in my grasp, I'll rule the world myself!

(( You're really rather gullible, seriously - You didn't see that coming??? ))

But the farmer boy was not convinced and slowly shook his head
With sword in hand he smiled at her and this is what he said
I've fought the powers in that thing, so I know they can be tamed
With my excessive arsenal, I'll smash it up again!

(( Bring it on! ))

The boy stood back and drew his sword, which bought her enough time
To quickly rearrange the parts so they could recombine
Without the need for nails or glue, the pieces were adhered
And it clearly was pure evil 'cause it glowed and looked all weird.

And as the life returned to it, the artefact it spoke
And said, now listen here you two, I'm sick of getting broke!

(( Yeah, of course it can talk, it's EVIL!))

The entity inside the artefact did manifest
and with a sigh it said, I'm sick and tired of this mess
I can't recall the times I've been rebuilt and smashed apart
I wish I'd never bound myself to this thing in the start.

(( Which is of course, a common evil sorcerer mistake. ))

Well last time I swore just as soon as I was whole again
I'd use it straight away to burn my own life force away
Through muttered words and ancient signs, the apparition cast
A spell to send itself into oblivion at last.

And just like that the artefact became a cold dead stone
and left the traitor and the puzzled hero all alone.

(( AWKWARD!! ))

Now hero boy he sheathed his sword and the tensions now dissolved
and when the pair saw what they'd done their problems were resolved
Well, having rid the of all the nasty magic force
They'd saved the land and so he took her back home on his horse.

(( Or his boat - it was more for old times sake than anything. ))

He left her there and bought a home with all the cash he'd made
A castle which he filled with loot he picked up on the way
But rumours say the evil spells in all the treasure there
Did slowly coalesce into a power to beware.

And the legends say it dwells in there for all eternity
With that in mind, hey listen, grab a sword and come with me!

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