Now she hunts in the darkness for eternity
As she wanders the Leicester streets
Taking her fill
Of the animals
And looking for something to eat

She'll feed on a pigeon or squirrel or such
Just to get enough blood to survive
But whenever she can
She will bite human hands
Much like when she was alive

The vampire hamster is a fearsome beast
As she stalks through the city at night
Looking for every last drop she can take
Till the break
Of morning's first light

She slinks in the shadows, her silent approach
While hunting you down like a shark
Your life blood she'll seek
To fill up her cheeks
Then she'll waddle off into the dark

There's a trail of the dead left behind in her wake
But even now no-one suspects
Cause the best CSI
Is unable to spy
Such a tiny wee mark on the neck

The vampire hamster is a fearsome beast
As she stalks through the city at night
Drinking her fill till the rise of the sun
When she'll run
To the shadows to hide

She can only be killed by the light of the sun
Or a cocktail stick through the heart
Or a dog or a cat
Or an oversized bat
Or anything heavy or large

She steers clear of drunkards with garlic kebabs
For she can be killed by that herb
But drunks in the gutter
Are her bread and butter
Which she bites from her perch on the kerb

The vampire hamster is a fearsome beast
As she stalks through the city at night
Searching for necks that are low enough
Down to the ground
For her to bite

I already sleep in a circle of salt
To keep away hamsters from hell
But now I've a crucifix
Nailed to each door
And a hand full of toothpicks as well

But I know it's my blood she desires the most
And she'll reach me somehow as I sleep
And that sat by my ear
She's the last thing I'll hear
As she whispers a menacing SQUEAK

The vampire hamster is a fearsome beast
As she stalks through the city at night
Letting her victims look straight in her eyes
As she tries
To give them a fright

The vampire hamster is a fearsome beast
Growing strong on the blood of the weak
Knowing full well that the last thing
You hear is your ear
Is a menacing SQUEAK!

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